i can t trust myself

i don't trust myself on Tumblr | Trust me quotes, John mayer, Dont trustWhy don't you trust yourself? Why don't you trust yourself? Some good friends and I joke around the axioms of pop psychology and the personal development industry: There are some hilarious statements used there. They're funny because they're always true. "You don't trust yourself" is perhaps the quintessential example. Statements like this are used by gurus, therapists and worship leaders everywhere to create instant feelings "OMG-you-hit-the-nail-on-the-head!" in the listener. You don't trust yourself, because you constantly hit yourself for not making "sufficient." You seek solutions to motivational problems, because you do not trust yourself to do the things you know you should. You worry about creating a structure in your life to protect yourself: It's better to hide those cookies, or they'll all eat! Can we write? "You don't trust yourself" as a smart verbal trap, or is it playing something deeper? Is there a universal problem of human trust? Or are you being paranoid? Either way you're your worst enemy. A lack of faith in yourself is preventing the wealth, freedom and impact you want to create – so let's find out why you don't trust yourself. And how can you find that faith again. How do you know if you don't trust yourself? The lack of faith in oneself appears in the way we do things. It's the difference between being your worst enemy, in front of your own best friend. If you spend a lot of time regretting things you've done or decisions you've made, you don't trust yourself. If you hit yourself, if you don't think you're doing good enough, or if you constantly feel like you've gone up to the potential used then you don't trust yourself. It really comes down to this: You're afraid that if you were to feel totally happy for your life, your motivation to do things could really disappear. You're afraid that if you were to feel totally happy for your life, your motivation to do things could really disappear. People who don't trust themselves are terrified of allowing themselves to feel good. They are afraid that if they feel well, their motivational momentum will disappear – they do not trust that they still want to create, give or grow. People who don't trust themselves create self-perpetuating cycles of stress and anxiety to make sure they never get to that place where they are happy or satisfied. This ensures that they never run out of whips to break their backs. So, like a businessman who doesn't trust, you do everything you can to make sure that you don't give yourself an inch: Resonate a lot? That's what I thought. Why don't you trust yourself? You don't trust yourself because you weren't always trustworthyAs all the great psychological truths, the answer to this particular conundrum lies in the depths of our pasts. Our childhoods. So, step in the chaise room and get ready to go back. You don't trust yourself now, because you were born in a determined world to do things you don't want to do. Things no human would want to do. Things you couldn't trust to do without being coerced. The adult world forces children to take action in all kinds of things without rationality: Study hard. Put money on your pig. Eat your vegas. Because you have to. Because it is. Because that's what everyone does. Because life is not fair. As children, we support the experience of our teachers, parents and superiors, we all abhor to do things "right", not the things we want to do. That's right, I'm not trying to change or even criticize this process. You just have to understand that this is happening and what is done to your mind. As you grow up in an adult, you begin to develop your own rationality. Remember the point where you really saw the value in saving money? Or when he really clicked that eating your vegetables would be a smart move? Or that magical moment when you realized that the approach, the commitment and the end of what your beginning is all good ideas. As long as the old joke goes, the older you get smarter than your parents. It is true and it happens because adulthood exposes us to the real world, giving us all the power why. We dig up our own reasons to do all that hard work and discipline. We see the light. For entrepreneurs, these moments are even more vital. They are the pivotal instances of "getting it," when we click and realize that the things we have heard and read are really true: Sales and marketing are all. These are the entrepreneurial lessons that we read when we start, but don't really click with until we "create" as business owners: You have to do something remarkable. You must make great promises and fulfill. Find a problem to solve. etc. etc. The problem occurs when you come to any of these moments of "getting it" as a newly minted adult – and use that term freely; I know the 50 years that have not yet done so. You get rationality and for the first time you want to work hard and make huge things happen. But for some reason, even though you want success, you simply can't do the things you KNOW to create. There is resistance, motivation does not flow easily and everything feels difficult. You don't trust yourself. You don't trust yourself. You are new in this place but the child within you has years of rebellious experience against all adults and their coercive insistence on doing things just because you have to. So when your adult mind is fully developed, it is also the desire of those who grow things, your inner child has already put his fingers in his ears. Lalalalala! You've spent such a vast part of your life being coerced into doing things that you don't understand that when you finally get the point, it's already too late. His inner son is in rebellion. The sabotage car has already begun. The reaction of most people to this only makes the problem worse. They start using tricks that nasty adults used to use, but for themselves! They create artificial reward systems, leverage social pressure and more. Most of the task list applications are basically maps of adult gold stars. They don't work because the more you try to coerce yourself like that, the more your inner son rebels. That part of you used to hate other adults, but now you hate it too. It fades and its desires become increasingly childish. Soon, you're blowing all afternoon, to do nothing but eat junk food and watch cartoons! Once established, the cycle is simple: Your inner child does not want to do the things you know you should, so try to force you to grow with structure and coercion. In response, your inner child rebels stronger, inspiring even more irresponsible behavior. Your answer to that is *drumroll* not trusting yourself. Of course you can't trust it. Part of you, a deep and very vocal part, wants to whip completely. He hates all the mature and coercive systems you use to try to make you productive and responsible. Throw down your structure with a tearing and impishing smile. How can you trust a part of you? The solution lies in realizing what your inner child always wanted. Which seems to have to grab and steal. What you don't trust to provide, because you've never really had: Play. Funny. Good times. Your whole life, you've been desperately trying to grow, diligently delaying gratification so that you could have a chance on great business success in the distant future. And your inner son has had enough. Look around your life and ask yourself how many hours of the last week include activities you would have been really excited to participate in. If you're like it was – or many of my clients were – the answer is zero. We are all so obsessed with the growth, progress and the Spartan rituals "do the job" that we really forget how to have fun. We even forget that having fun is important. The most powerful force of self-sacrifice in your life is the part of you (the inner child) that has not forgotten this. Not even a little. The frightening truth is that it is our inner child that touches creativity, the one standing in the power plant and all other things that make the real difference. If you've built a life that would lead a child to cry, it's time to seriously reevaluate your lifestyle. The structure and schedule you are imposing on yourself, in the search for success, is creating without wanting sabotage loads. When you stir up your inner child's thirst for fun and joy, you'll get it. You'll get to the place where your inner child is aligned with your adult wishes, where 100% of you is collaborating in the same direction. That boy inside you, for the first time, will see why you're trying to do this success thing. You will come to a place where work, success and productivity are synonymous with fun, play and joy. You will come to a place where work, success and productivity are synonymous with fun, play and joy. It's a long way and simply having "arrived" doesn't guarantee that you will always stay there, but the longer you spend in this magical vortex the easier it is to find your way back. In my other company, Commit Action, we help entrepreneurs to end procrastination and achieve superhuman success with a series of psychological hacks from which "Play" is just one! We just published a free video training program where I share all our best tactics and research. You can use these things to find out why elite entrepreneurs succeed easier, faster and more often... And how can you become one of them! Related posts How to become less anxious and conscious in high-risk business situations Why read fiction makes you a better businessman How to become a maniac businessman Type-A Post navigation 72 reviews Sandy KuehlBusted ... I'm so shattered. I feel so sad, but naturally also staggered. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha The good news is that there is a LOT you can do to transform your relationship with your inner child! I was wondering what keeps us back when we're on that edge, but from this piece of writing, I really have the point. But Peter, after knowing the reasons "Why we don't trust ourselves," I would like to learn some methods of which "We can really improve our trust in ourselves." Would you like to suggest something? Hey Talha, it's about cultivating things that will really feed your inner child's appetite. When you can get that part of yourself inside you, you can accomplish almost anything. I will write more publications about this in the future safely. evie liyantii thought giving you fun my inner child, I don't have to trust me to do what I have to do, because I can already, so I was wrong to ehevie liyantipeter, in conclusion, if I don't do something, I just have to forgive my being and forget it? What to do? I'm afraid that my being will become naughty and want to be a failure over time, should I really forgive my being? Can you make a suggestion, please? thanks 🙂AWESOME! Thank you! It's not just great for me in my business, but it's amazing to consider how parents our kids... Hey, Kelly, I'm glad you found it valuable, too. I'm not really trying to criticize parents anyway, but I figure we could be more aware of that kind of thing too! Peter, you hit something I've experienced this week that was out of the ordinary. I had fun at work! I was surprised it was a revelation. So I've been evaluating why it was fun and how different my outfit was to work. There's so much in there! It's amazing how fun has become the new word of four letters in the workplace. Fun is immature and foolish. Joy, creativity, exuberance and laughter that concept! Ha! It's a bit scary for me that it's actually shocking to "have fun" – especially at work. And you're right, this is a problem with the culture of most companies. Thank you for bringing your theory into the light. It never occurred to me that I was using procrastination to motivate myself with the endless bonds of ups and downs. This state I've been operating in has affected all my relationships as well as companies. I have a lot to think about... Hey Julie! I think that when left unchecked, these types of motivational patterns can cause entrepreneurs to repent in their meaningful relationships... partly as a reaction to businesses up and down. It's something to take care of, sure. As a child I give resentment to those who press me, including employees, sellers and family sometimes, especially when I am overextending myself. I think I have to identify these feelings of frustration and find a release. Sports or some kind of physical activity usually works best for me and until recently I resisted doing something good for me or fun so I went to swim on Sunday in the local pool and played with the dog in the creek yesterday with the family- jumped doing something of this last summer! That hit me hard! I read it yesterday and the pieces started to fall in place. So last night I did things I enjoyed when I was 7 years ago many years ago. I read out a story that I had not read as a child. The feeling of peace was tremendous. I'm including young man on my day of work. After lunch, I'm going out to play with a ball for 10 minutes. Shahe Shan! That is an excellent example to add to the dialogue – thanks SO MUCH for sharing this. I actually think it takes courage to do things like this that the adult mind could consider "silly"... and even more publish in a public forum! Well done 🙂evie liyantii should prove that one, thanks for the tip, but yes laugh, evie liyantishan, jumped rope 100 times, and was so fun, I remember that I always played to jump rope with my friend when I was in elementary, fast There is a term for the concept you are talking about - self-compassion. Kristin Neff – has done a significant research on the subject and has a great book that I suggest to anyone who fights this issue. The reality is that we really do better when we stop hitting ourselves because we have more energy to give projects to hand, but it feels counter-intuitive and uncomfortable. It's extremely difficult to get out of that trash. Thanks for the Quint link, I'll check it out! Michael-snip... You seldom plate your income right in the place where it is "just just enough" – so exactly that it is fucking scared! - Yeah. I agree, it really happens. But I do not follow the logic that connects this phenomenon with the whole idea of "non-happy internal child". Could you please explain this differently or use another example? I'm sorry to be a friend, but I don't understand. Hello, Michael, good question. This is an example of a single type of symptom that arises from self-sabotage caused by the needs of the inner child that are not satisfied. Typically we can take advantage of the motivation to produce what NEED to survive, even while the inner child is having a tantrum... but to progress BEYOND what we need to survive, the cooperation of the inner child is needed. So people who don't realize this inner child material tend to get trapped in a place where they do enough to cover needs, but they struggle to find a higher form of motivation to inspire them to a level beyond that. MichaelYup, that makes a lot more sense. I have never faced this concept of "unsatisfied needs of inner children" and I am really interested in seeing where it goes. Thanks again for the message and the answer. BrianPeter, This is exceptional and I can relate even more now to the clarity sofa challnge sound you sent and I just responded to you in. This is a loop that I know very well and would like to integrate and pass through, as you mention how these things can join in the long term so that dreams are lived in real time! Manjit pannuthank that so much for this. the part where you said we don't let ourselves be happy because we're afraid that we have nothing to motivate us is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. But I don't understand, now what I do, because even after reading it, I still feel like I shouldn't be having fun because I'm sick they let me take and distract from my studies. I'm always locked up in my room studying and getting angry at the dumbest things. PKExcellent Question. Jay JulianiPeter, "People who don't trust themselves create self-perpetuating cycles of stress and anxiety to make sure they never get to that place where they are happy or satisfied. This ensures that they never get rid of whips to break on their own back."... this has been my experience and finally my attitude towards my business became very negative to the point I hated working! In the end, I lost my company in their attempt to save some of their investment, but I could have imported less the time and money I put into it and lost everything I built for 8 years. I'm afraid to start a new company because of this lack of confidence in myself, which has increased after my failure. I'm afraid to repeat this experience. CarrieOk.. you nailed me. What now? Gigi I don't know much about this though I do know that I feel awful about myself. I feel like I'm in a hole and even if I try to get the hole out it gets bigger and bigger. I don't just trust myself, but I'm afraid of trusting other people. I've been feeling that way since grade 3 and now I'm a second in high school. LeiI am in that special place where I am making the universe and the angels to validate some of the most important questions of life as what I want to be when I grow up and after a few links and hundreds of articles I land on this. I accept your solution to play. It's time for me to get permission to have fun. Thank you. LeiJust for fun, I read my message up and noticed that Gigi's post was made at 11:19. Every time I look at the clock, whether I am or pm I see it exactly at 11:19. The other day I finally found a site of numerology that explained why I always see 11:19. It's my guardian angel's way of letting me know I'm on my way. I laughed when I saw Gigi's publishing time. There is no mistake that I am asking the right questions and receiving the exact answers I need to manifest my heart wishes In this physical realm. 🙂Read your watch may need your batteries to replace ... ... (can't help myself) Clinton Manning Makes a lot of sense Peter. I've been offered a chance for a friend to take a chance and move abroad working on a Yate but over the last four years my trust has decreased and I feel like I've gone backwards. I feel very much like the child you mention and I never trust in my own judgment, always seeking the approval of others. I really hate my job and maybe if I took a "risk" could work well? I can't overcome not knowing. I feel like maybe I'll take all these negatives with me wherever I go and that's what scares me. It usually works well, Clinton. I say do it 😀Jane WI read your article is very intuitive and discussed some of my problems. But you forgot one. This is the sad one that ALL counselors seem to forget. I was abused by my second husband for a long time. When he died it took me more than five years to find out who I am and I want in life. Unfortunately until this day I cannot trust myself to date. I know it's not someone else's fault, but mine. So, my question is how to cure that problem? Jane, thanks for coming. Your question is out of the scope of my experience, but if you send me an email I can refer to another source of information or support. LRAll you must do is abuse the people you leave. They deserve it. Tell them how stupid and useless they don't matter what. Men deserve to be degraded because they have to be extremely perfect. Tee ReeI just wanted to say "Thank you!" This article was all I needed. CarlosYou told the story of my life, Peter. I am an architecture student (19) and have been having serious problems with the carrier. It's hard for me to stay focused on what I'm doing. I get frustrated so easily... and everything happens as you say above... sometimes I think I'm not ready to study a carrier like this. I love what I do a lot but recently (year and a half) I feel like doing other things and I can't work hard as it should be. It takes me years to decide what to do when it comes to my design projects... I've wasted too long doing and rehaving... it's actually become a torture for me to sit on my table and start making a project and not knowing what to do, trying hard and not getting or finishing anything.. I hope you can give me more help with this because I don't feel well u.u I loved your article. I'll start following you Hey Carlos, thanks for passing by and sharing your story. Take a look at my free ebook and follow the blog – you must find some of the answers you are looking for. Margaret, great article, I didn't want it to stop! I'm just learning this about myself, that this is really my problem. I hope I can find my son and learn to trust myself. Thank you. Great information. Lucky I recently found your blog by accident (stumbleupon). I marked it for later! Good post. I learn something new and challenging in places I tripped every day. It will always be useful to read through other writers' artifacts and use some of the websites. Teresa You've kept me locked up until the end of this sentence. It really comes down to this: You're afraid that if you were to feel totally happy for your life, your motivation to do things could really disappear. . . would be removed - is the way that would end that sentence. Your article makes sense, but what about my situation? AllyMe is hard to find credibility in your article due to all spelling errors. In my brain, if you can't find your own mistakes in something as simple as writing, how can I find you credible in something like pointing out my confidence problems? MaryWhat a great and inspiring article. Nice to say the least. It is interesting how the written word backed with deep vision can help a change in a penny. Thank you very much. I honestly felt a load uprising. JeannetteWow... this hits my nail in my head. Today was a difficult day for me emotionally. Today I felt very "off" and totally down in myself. I want to change my life, and I've been wanting for a long time. My problem is, I never get enough to make real differences. Today I was partially fed... and I felt a deep, raw yearning for real, and I finally understand why I do what I do... and don't do what I know I should do! Today I asked myself "what happens to me, why can't I put it together... Ever? " Well, tonight I was lying in bed still pondering that question, and suddenly thought came to me, "you don't trust yourself." And swear... I knew at that time that those four words were the root cause and the reason my life was as it was. I opened my laptop, and I hooked those words exactly... and your site was the first one I clicked on, and I'm always happy to have. Your words hit my head... straight to the point and so look at me getting a little scared... I actually had butters in my stomach! I know, but this is what I've been looking for most of my life... Thank you! Jeannette M.Clay Everything you wrote just happened to me (except thinking about it before I went to sleep part). This is quite frightening, but I am very happy that "I do not trust myself" would fall into my head. I went straight to Google to see if he was the only one and found this place too. My only problem is that I have to figure out what fun it is again and how to have it. Thank you for this article Peter Shallard. This article hit me to the core. It was like an epiphany and I wrote in the words 'I don't trust myself' and this came up. Thank you. I'll follow you. This has paved a new way for my transformation. Nagendra Dhagarra The way you connected confidence with the inner child is beautiful. Thank you very much. RobertWhile there is some useful information in the article, perhaps more about what can be done to change the conditioned patterns would help. I have found that EFT (consistently applied instead of just once) is helping me with life-long trust issues. However, you may wish to consider this: We really don't have the degree of "control" we "think" that we have, so there is no absolute "technical" to get what our mind (filled through conditioned patterns that we never ask) thinks it wants to... Thank you, Brian. Great article! Put some light at the end of the tunnel. Accused when I got to the FUN part... I really pissed the beast saying 'I can't afford to have fun, too much is on the line' This revelation can rekindle my motivation and get me out of this starting point. Crazy the exponentially destructive that can be!!!! EricI is going through the stage of child rebellion; he's hitting me hard. Just yesterday I noticed that when I found, or felt, or even just assumed that I did something because "I had to," the motivation collapsed instantly, and I would sink back into apathy. I'm scared because I know there are things I have to do even if I don't want to, even if I can't motivate myself to do them; it's just that I'm still trying to say those things, the things I think I need to do but I don't have to separate. Emil Copper The way you wrote this seems to apply to people in their adulthood. I am a pre-teen and I feel exactly the way this article explains. Is it strange? Rick Switzerland Hey Peter, Excellent article. He really gave me something good to think. Here's a question: What if I am doing those things that my inner child wants (i.e. those things I wanted to do but I could never in my youth) but those things are mutually exclusive with success. What if all my inner child wants is to smoke grass and eat an entire glass of ice cream and go out to the party until 3 am? Do these habits not prevent success, rather than facilitate it? In other words, Peter, what if taking care of my inner child comes at the expense of developing the habits of the man I want to convert? Thank you. RickRacqz I totally understand this. Personally I feel that it is healthy not to place restrictions on myself and I feel that it really brings me back to balance. That was initially after I was given permission, without judgment and only love, to be and enjoy my body and the freedom that much desires. Many of these so-called sabotage patterns of oneself were self-love although it might have looked different from others. It allowed me to relax. Yeah, I've gained weight and overwhelmed, but this is a reflex action of suppression. When that need is satisfied or even simply recognized, the pattern will change. I'm not saying it works for everyone, but I'm seeing the difference in myself. Also just bringing my conscience to my behavior is knowing my need to be seen, without judgment, to be heard without fear, and to nurture me in ways of support and sometimes you are eating the two ice cream tubsPeter,Your post makes me think. Having said this, I cannot relate to 100% what you describe. I have a good schedule where to "play", doing things that are other work are involved. I am not a big fan of instant gratification for the sake of myself, what I call fun would be spending time being useful for others, reading and murmuring about life. Which usually contributes to my business when I return to it. Having said this, I know there are some problems that I need to solve with my inner child that would really increase my productivity. I still don't know what that is. Thank you for sharing! AnhKimIt is curious that I started to have very deep feelings "I don't trust myself" the last two days, and as I tried to find out I thought of failures in romantic relationships, failure to maintain healthy habits, failures in school and work... I certainly thought, I don't trust myself because I've made so many bad decisions. Why should I trust myself? But you know what? I just started another business company yesterday. I want to. It's a product that I really love and work with people I admire and want to be around. So it didn't occur to me that starting that company could have been the impulse that started that feeling of lack of faith in myself. But reading this makes the "problem" look so simple, so natural, so easy and (I say so?) Fun to overcome! Tashawn I find myself in this emotional roller box. For a short period of time I feel I can take the world. So, discovering where all that motivation I had two weeks ago, he's gone. I'm in the square trying to figure out what I'm doing with my life. I wish I could finish what I started and stop giving up. Very good article but at some point you confuse me I'd say the adult concept isn't very clear to you. Growing up means loving your inner child too Growing up doesn't mean you try to be as successful as you can. That's egome Hi. For the first time someone thinks he's an internal child, not OCD! I'll work on it. I feel like you somehow got into my subconscious and downloaded this information! Thank you so much for your vision! This hit me pretty hard. I see myself today in a position in which I am bored to my skull with everything around me. I have persecuted everything "I thought I had to pursue, a successful job, property, etc." I'm actually bored being around quite honestly. I'm afraid of what I can discover Dawa Tshering Sherpa Be yourself or fight with yourself. As the guy said here, there's an inner child inside you, that's not your inner son that's you! You make mistakes, that maybe stupid, that you like to tease people. They teach us to be like that, like that as a child. Be true to yourself. You may worry that you will do something wrong or you are not a good person, perhaps because of your past experiences, but you are here today, you fight with yourself every day because you took the time to think from someone else's point of view, caring for someone else, which means that you are not a bad person really, but other people who can be ignorant, without thoughts or even the vicious character do not have a mentality to reach this level of thought. So... relax and take it. Be faithful to who you are. The only fear you can have is that you're not good enough, or you can do something bad. That's you. Be yourself or fight yourself. AvaIntriguing article, so different from the usual – and to me useful – motivational pablum I read. I feel it's true for me. That said (assuming you still see comments since the original publication was several years ago), how can you really enjoy 'fun' again? I do things that I like (movements, reading, singing, etc.) but it doesn't seem to be able to enjoy them on the same levels as I used to. I'm sick of being so serious all the time. Also, curious about how you yourself came to this vision? Thank you. Hamzah to AlmaslamiWow. Peter, I'm glad I saw this. It's great and pleasure has someone like you in society. I would have seen a few people like you in Australia, would make our lives shine and awesome. It is that we tend to act that we are having plans, and are mature and showing care " I would call it "self-will". Becaus in any way The brain still works is at work that we won't lose. Since lack of trust I would always have to prove that I have something for my life towards others or would be a loser. I like to be free (I'm not going to lose). Thank you, Peter and everyone who participated. Good luck. Leave a comment Name * Email * Website Save my name, email and website in this browser for the next time you comment. Commentary Notify me of follow-up comments by email Refund your battle for Focus and ProductivityCommit Action's Executive Aide service helps business owners become the most advantageous version possible. Let's go deeper... My most provocative material is available only for subscribers I send you an email newsletter every week. Join elite entrepreneurs in my inner circle.

Accessibility Links Search Modes Search Results Why you can't trust yourself - Mark Manson How do you trust yourself? Successful PlanetHow to Trust Yourself to Change the Habits - Zen Habits How to teach you to trust yourself How can I learn to trust more in myself? Personality - SharecareHow To Trust Yourself Why can't I trust myself in making decisions? (Relieve to anxiety ...I don't trust myself (with love for you) (Live in L.A.) - YouTubeLearning to Trust yourself? QuoraPage navigation1 Foot links

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Why Robinson's 'Don't Trust Myself' is the subversive indie-pop anthem of 2018

Trusting Myself | learningtolivelikewaterblog

I've changed my mind so much I can't even trust it My mind changed me so much I can't even trust myself - Post by oxytocin on Boldomatic

I don't trust myself arou... | Quotes & Writings by D S | YourQuote

I can't trust myself. I keep telling myself, "suicide is the only option", but I